Why Are School Psychologists So Important???

School psychologist. A term I have always known my entire lifetime, but now when trying to pursue this profession I have come into more contact with people who really don’t understand what a school psychologist actually does. Being a female in my mid-twenties, the constant question I am always asked is “What are you getting your master’s in?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I have always responded, “I’m getting my master’s in School Psychology. I want to be a School Psychologist.” Everyone usually shakes their heads and goes, “Cool, that awesome.” But it is interesting; no one really has asked me for further details of what a school psychologist actually does and if I do get that one person to ask me further they say, “Oh you counsel and do an intelligent assessment. That’s pretty cool.” Not only are these statements frustrating and at times quite uninformed, it really discourages people to pursue professions in the educational field and also in the field of psychology. The educational and psychology fields really do get a bad “rap.” Many people think it is “taking the easy way out” especially when the general public looks at the school year riddled with days off in the form of weekends, holidays, and summers off.  Unfortunately, this is when the term ignorance is bliss comes into play.

            Being a school psychologist not only requires psychological training but also calls for extensive knowledge in the educational realm.  A school psychologist is one of the main foundations of keeping a school system running smoothly. Now you may be thinking, “Hmm… okay, they help kids. Cool sounds neat.” School psychologists help not only students but also faculty members and parents.  A school psychologist is a uniquely qualified member of a school whose main roles are to support student and teachers with the multiple facets utilized within their training. The goal is to provide supports with their expertise in mental health, learning, and behavior. The school psychologist’s focus for students is to help them be successful academically, behaviorally, and emotionally.  A similar approach is taken for the educator; to provide them with the best tools and guidance to teach their students to be successful, well-rounded individuals.

            School psychologists are the masterminds of time management. You would never know it, but behind their office doors, they work their magic helping not only to improve the success of the students but also the success of the school and the education programs it provides. School psychologists not only counsel students and give assessments. Here is just the shorter version of what a school psychologist does in a day; crisis intervention, behavior plans, counseling sessions, teacher consultation, parent meeting, data collection, and so much more! This does not even include RTI meetings or the academic, cognitive, and social-emotional assessments that are included in the job description.

        So I am throwing out all these terms of what school psychologists do but not really explaining what a school psychologist does. A school psychologist is everyone’s “go-to person”. If a student is struggling academically, the teacher will counsel through the “teacher consultation process” and this is where the school psychologist will intervene in many different ways. This can include researching, observing the child, providing a intervention to help improve the child’s academic skills, collecting data to see if the intervention is being effective, calling the parents and having a meeting to build a home-school relationship and providing any other support the teacher and child may need to make sure that student is provided with the best opportunity to learn and achieve.
 

            How about a child who may be acting out in class, is not at ease with oneself and is performing below their abilities? A school psychologist would step in to provide any social-emotional support they can. This would include speaking with teachers, the student’s parents and the faculty and staff to provide the safest and comfortable environment to help this student grow not only academically but emotionally.  School psychologists also provide training to help faculty improve their skills as educators and also provide preventive services for students such as bullying for example. I could go on and on about the millions of scenarios that school psychologists do each and every day.

            School psychologists are not just “testing machine.” We just don’t test, go to Committee on Special Education (CSE) meetings, classify and declassify students, or write Functional Behavior Assessments (FBA) and Behavioral Intervention Plans (BIPS). We support. The emphasis on the word support is what should be duly noted here. School psychologists provide support for everyone in and involved at the school. They’re selfless human beings. They want students to succeed. They want to empower students to not only look at themselves as students but as contributors to society. We don’t realize while we personally are going through it, but our K-12 education truly impacts and molds us into the people we are today. If it weren’t for the basic skills, the life lessons, and learning what one’s true interests are, one would not have a clear direction or career path to follow. School psychologists most often ask students, “What do you want to be to be when you grow up?” The reason for this is that they do not want to shut down any student’s passions, goals, or dreams but instead help guide these students towards accomplishing their goals. School psychologists are the number one supporters of students. They tend to be the least judgmental where students are the concern.  They will do anything in their power to provide any necessary tools or guidance for their students. At times parents, faculty, administration, and teachers need to be reminded that the student’s overall well-being is what comes first and the focus and effort should be to provide the safest, effective, and comfortable environment for them to succeed.

School psychologists truly do not get enough credit for everything they do and I am not saying this in bias. I saying this because school psychologists don’t go into this profession for just the money, the title, or for feeling they’re “truly making a difference”. School psychologists go into this profession because they are generally truly selfless human beings with realistic expectations of the world. They know they cannot fix everyone’s problem but they will make damn sure to give it everything they got. They go into this profession not to “save” students but to be an advocate for children.  They go into this profession knowing it is not an easy job, but a worthwhile career that can facilitate positive changes in a child as well as the school environment.  Thanks for reading and Go thank your School Psychologist. Happy National School Psychology Awareness Week!

What is Compassion? & What Does it Mean to You?

Life has been crazy busy for me lately.  & Unfortunately, I have neglected my blog because of my hectic schedule. Last month I entered a writing contest, and I wanted to share my piece with all of you. The topic was about defining compassion and how compassion can change the world. 

Compassion: a three-syllable, ten-letter word with quite a powerful meaning. Some people are born with compassion pouring through their veins while others may need to obtain this skill by learning and growing as a human being. Compassion is a deep feeling of sympathy and sorrow for another person who is either struck by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to ease the suffering of that person. Being a human being, there are many highs and lows in our lives. Many of our lows come out of nowhere, and are most of the time out of our control. Compassion comes into place with these lows because we want to help alleviate this stress, pain, or misfortune.

Compassion is a multifaceted term. Compassion is made up of gratitude, empathy, self-love, mindfulness, selflessness, and heightened emotional intelligence. To be compassionate one must have all these traits and be able to execute them effortlessly. But do not worry, as a human being, we are all a work in progress, so you can still be a compassionate person if you are lacking in these areas. Just knowing that you're still working on trying to improve yourself as a person puts you in the category of being a compassionate person.  Being a compassionate person is being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and let them know that you understand what they are going through, and also provide them with a helping hand and support to get them through a difficult time. 

Most people think compassion is only shown through extremely difficult times. This is not the case. Compassion shines through even when someone is having a bad day. These are times that compassionate people persevere by putting aside their own stress and show kindness and support to make another person’s day a little less stressful. Being compassionate means to be there for someone by turning a negative situation around by providing positive outcomes.  With support, love, and kindness on people’s darkest days, compassionate people can bring the sunshine back into that person’s life.

Compassion can change the world one person at a time. Compassion forces us to see others as we see ourselves. By facing challenges in life, experiences will provoke compassion to help protect and support the others in need. This allows us to open ourselves to the world and not be opposed to being vulnerable to assist others in need. Compassion allows us to look at ourselves and show self-compassion. If you are unable to love yourself, this will only hinder you from loving and showing compassion to others. By learning to love yourself and practice self-compassion, many doors will open up to help others. Remember practice makes perfect. When you execute self-compassion, new perspectives will open your mind to helping others to be the best versions of themselves.

Compassion can only better our world. When we lack compassion, judgment, criticism, doubt rear it's ugly head in our world. Compassion allows us to be open and accepting of each other’s differences. When we can be more accepting, we can be more tolerant of others and open to different ways we see the world. Compassion allows for our attitudes to be more loving than fighting. Which in this day and age, we need more love in our world. Love and compassion will bring our world together not tear us apart. Compassion starts with the people you love and expands to others as you use it each day. Once compassion is expanded our world becomes a happier, healthier, and more loving place to live in.

Why I Stopped Blogging This Summer....

It’s been a while. And to be honest, I needed the break. This summer has been very challenging for me, and I lost my flow of blogging.  I never want to think of blogging as a chore. That was not the reason why I started this blog.  I did not want to post something just for the sake of posting it in a blog. The message in my blogs has to convey my passionate feelings about the theme I am sharing. While this blog has been used to help inspire people to explore their backyards, it has also been for me. It may seem selfish, but this blog was designed (and still is) to express myself so that I may look back at everything and remember. I may not be making “money” or have a genuine audience, but that’s totally fine with me. The other basis for my hiatus from blogging was that school was in session for me this summer. Since starting graduate school in 2014, I have been non-stop, and it has taken a toll out of me (emotionally, physically, and mentally). This summer I had to take two demanding classes, one requiring me to commute 2 hours there and 2 hours back, twice a week. I had a lot on my plate academically, and I had to sacrifice posting on here to put my best work into school. I have also been studying for an exam that I need to pass to graduate with my masters. So school has been taking priority over everything else in my life. Which is totally fine right now because, in the end, I know it will be worth it. While I love change, I had a lot of change happen to me this summer. It’s been hard adjusting to the move back home when I’ve been living on my own for six years. But now I’m starting to get into the swing of things and starting to feel my spark again for blogging in addition to many other activities.

In no sense did I feel any shame for not posting. I realized life happens and sometimes you have to sacrifice to get where you need to be. This summer has taught me so many life lessons. I used to get upset when I didn’t have this “picture perfect” summer that I always had in my head. But the reality is as you grow older not every summer is going to be fun. You are not guaranteed fun and happiness. You should never expect that! You need to create your own happiness. You need to take your sticky situations and make the best of them. Not every day of your life is going to be filled with sunshine. On the darkest days, you need to create your own sunshine. This may not have been the most amazing summer of my life, but it has helped me get to where I need to be, i.e., to continue to grow as a person. Finally, I am excited about heading into my last year of graduate school, posting more entries in my blog and continuing to share my journey with you all!

5 Problems with Social Media!

What Are 5 Problems with Social Media?

The world of constantly being connected can be both a stunning and toxic place. I hate to look at the negative side of things, but there are many cons that most of us would not like to admit to. Don’t get me wrong, there are also many positive aspects to social media.  However, we as a society are solely failing to recognize the negative impacts it has on our mental health. It’s difficult for me to pinpoint on how I feel about social media. I pretty much grew up without it. Facebook created in 2004, became very popular in my freshmen year of High School. It wasn’t until my senior year that I personally decided to jump on the bandwagon. Instagram was created in 2010, my freshmen year of college and didn’t become popular until my senior year. I cannot imagine reliving my middle school, high school, and college years now, depending on and using this widespread form of communication as a fundamental and acceptable way to create and maintain genuine relationships. Even in my mid-twenties, from time to time, I succumb to all these social media pressures, especially the need to “know”.

1. A False Sense of A Connection

You hear it every day. “Kids and their damn technology. Nobody really talks in person any more.” Unfortunately, this is the sad but honest truth. Being a human being in 2016, you spend more time interacting with technology and less time with face-to-face conversations; fewer phone calls, more texts. More pictures, less living in the moment. We live in a time where the saying, “Pictures or it never happened” is true. Don’t get me wrong, these things are important and sometimes lifesaving (& we all know that I love taking photos). But it’s more important to take that photo or send that text versus living in that moment or talking to that person face-to-face. By doing this, we create these “supposedly” connections. “ We text, we snap, we dm, &, etc.” We feel close because of those interactions. But once those are gone, or the connection isn’t as strong in person, we start to doubt our relationships and friendships. We start to feel we may have a  connection, but it’s really more the online connection you have versus the reality of a genuine connection. This is where many people begin to self-isolate because one can not discern between the genuine or false sense of connection that was created.

2. Distracting Ourselves with Social Media Instead of Dealing with Our Own Personal Problems.

As a society, it seems like the only acceptable emotions you can show are happiness and anger.  That goes for the “show everything” mentality that is put on social media, e.g., from big accomplishments to heated debates on politics. You rarely see any other feeling in between. You do get the occasional sad post, but ultimately it usually has a happy ending or an inspirational message behind it. While there is nothing wrong with these photos, articles, videos, and status updates, nobody is really taking into consideration all the feelings in-between. As children, we are taught emotions from our family with conversations containing different facial expressions to explain and demonstrate what each emotion looks like. What is interesting is we never go into details about how these emotions “feel”. Many believe it’s because we need to experience these emotions to understand ourselves (which I completely agree with). Is it because we have to figure out how to cope because a lot of these emotions aren’t acceptable to share? In general, focusing on social media, if you were to post something that is not in the realm of “acceptable feelings” you would be shunned upon. This creates a distraction that prevents people from dealing with their personal problems (IMHO). Social Media gives off this persona that if you are not “positive, happy, funny, or inspirational” you are killing the vibe of the Internet. Many people end up questioning their emotions and instead of dealing with these feelings they distract themselves by only promoting the acceptable social media etiquette.  It’s frankly sad and unhealthy that this is the norm in society. It’s easier to distract yourself from being happy instead of taking the initiative to deal with your personal issues. Social Media has a huge influence on this. Just remember it’s okay not to be happy all the time. You’re not weak for showing emotions. You’re a stronger person if your able to admit these certain unwanted/ negative emotions and are willing to put the effort into doing something about it.

3. Only Showing Your Highlight Reels.

This one, kind of goes hand-in-hand with Number 2. But when you really think about it, every day you flip through everyone’s Instagram/Facebook seeing photos of friends, vacations, yummy food, a night on the town, funny memes, a beautiful picture with an inspirational caption that fills your feed. You end up looking at others and start envying their lives. I hear all the time, “ Oh my gosh he/she is perfect. He/She lives the life. He/She goes on all these cool adventures. He/She looks so happy with her/him. I would kill to have his or her life. Wouldn’t it be nice.” These are only some of the many things I hear out of both girls’ and guys’ mouths.  Everyone, myself included, only posts our highlight reels. We all try to post these happy & perfect images of our lives. And why is that? Honestly, I can’t even answer that question. Maybe because that’s what society has taught or maybe we are tricking ourselves into thinking we are all those images that we post or maybe it is because we are trying to embody this idea of having this “perfect lifestyle” (Will go into further details about this at Number 5). But as humans, we have our bad days. When we have these negative or (according to social media) “unacceptable” emotions/feelings, we tend to navigate towards our fix (social media). So when were not feeling so hot, we just scroll through Facebook and Instagram. We start looking at everyone else being happy. We become envious of those people. We think to ourselves” Why can’t I be happy like him or her? Why can’t I have his or her life?” You start to compare yourself. You start to think the grass is greener on the other side. But what we don’t consider is that again people are only posting their “highs.” Do you think those people, when they are having a bad day are going to post a selfie of them crying laying in their bed? ABOSULETY NOT! Even the thought of someone doing that sounds so ridiculous. But it’s true. NO ONE, I REPEAT NO ONE, is happy all the time! These people who have these so-called “perfect lives” go through just as many hardships as you. They just don’t post or publicize about it. We get into these vicious cycles of comparing ourselves. In the end, we need to take a step back from the situation and realize that those people have problems just like us. Some people are just better at concealing them than others. These people with their “perfect lives” have flaws. Regardless of what persona they try to portray on social media, just remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. And overall, things aren’t always what they seem.

4.   Constant Reassurance of Validating Your Lifestyle.

As mentioned above, many of us would not like to admit that we tend to portray our “best” persona on social media. It’s human nature to want to feel accepted and loved by others.  However, when you need constant validation on what you’re doing in life, it is then that this becomes extremely unhealthy. As a society, we tend to post things that we think others will like or approve consciously &/or subconsciously. This is especially true for the younger generation, e.g., the amount of likes validating a post. I know multiple people who get anxiety over posting something on social media. Sometimes it even takes them hours to post something until they feel it is perfect. Then if they do not feel they have enough likes, they will delete the photo. It sounds silly but so many people do it. Think about it. Look at the people who inspire you; maybe it is athletes, Youtubers, photographers, bloggers and everything in between. These people have millions of likes on their post each and every day. You think “Wow.” But in reality, not even half or a quarter of those people who “like” their posts truly genuinely care about that individual as a person. Likes, Comments, & Shares do not mean you are respected, loved or changing the world. In the end, those 50-100 people don’t care that you are inspiring the world to travel, having a kid, getting engaged, etc.  It just feels good to think that all these people do care. Again, it’s human nature that we get so worked up about having others accept our lifestyles. We tend to forget each individual person has their own unique path. When you are truly genuinely happy with the path you are on, you will not feel/think about having to validate your lifestyle. No matter if you receive zero or 8 million likes if you are happy with yourself it doesn’t matter what others think of you.

5. Having the “ Perfect Lifestyle”

I have mentioned this throughout this post. The “perfect” life/lifestyle. Let's look at the definition of perfect.

Perfect (adjective): having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

We live in a generation of having to be perfect. But when you think about it, who is perfect? Some may argue Beyonce is, but she also has issues of her own. Just listen to her album Lemonade. (Trying to be funny but failing) On a more serious note, I have known and experienced people having a great day, and if they didn't let people know what they were doing or captured the “perfect” photo, it ruined their entire experience. With filters and Photoshop, how can we not blame society for making us think everything about us needs to be perfect. But once again being perfect is subjective to each person. But enough about focusing on the physical features of ourselves, let us focus on the “perfect lifestyle”. I am constantly having conversations with family, friends, and strangers about how they wish they were so and so, and it amazes me how we envy these people. We think if we had their lives our stress, worries, and problems would just vanish and melt away if we just traveled and experienced the world. In reality, most of these people that do that, aren't as happy and perfect as they seem. For instance, many of these people have been handed the right cards and had the good fortune to do some of these activities. The camper vans we see people living and traveling the world in on social media are 90% sponsored and supported by a company. There is nothing wrong with that, but we don't see the true “behind the scenes” lives of these people just the lives they show us through social media. We compare ourselves to these people and begin to feel we are not living a fulfilled lifestyle. This causes many people to feel unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives. Don't get me wrong, I believe that traveling is a key component of personal growth, but sometimes people cannot drop everything to do that & THAT'S OKAY TOO! We forget to allow ourselves to really see. By not opening our eyes and getting back to a  tenet of truth, i.e., things are not always what they seem, many of us begin to feel badly about our lives. Even if it's about not traveling, maybe it's about getting married or having kids. Again, it's not all that perfect. No lifestyle is perfect. There are always flaws, loopholes, and hardships. Unfortunately, with social media, we don't tend to show those hardships. I am a true believer in hard work and that everything happens for a reason. Stop trying or wishing for this perfect lifestyle. Because the lifestyle you are living is perfect for the unique journey you are on. Remember you are constantly evolving & changing. If you are unhappy with the life you're living now, that does not mean your lifestyle is the wrong one. Be proactive, work hard, put your mental health first, and everything will fall into place!

#Sunflowersunday: 5 years ago...

Think back to how you were 5 years ago. How have you changed since?

Just five years ago I was a teenager and in a very different place in my life. I was 18 and had just finished my first year of my undergrad after transferring from my first school to Marist. I was in a good place but also not completely happy at what life had thrown at me. I also cared way too much about how people viewed or thought of me. I also had a great difficulty of letting go of things. If something or someone bothered me, I would let it ruin my entire day. I remember feeling that if I don’t do things the way everyone else was doing them, I would not have a bright future. I was very conflicted because I was a happy but also very much a worry wart. I always have had the urge to plan out my entire life, and I wanted to accomplish and do so many things before the age of 25. My perception of age was completely off I felt being “25” meant you were a grown adult who had everything put together and knew exactly where your life was going. I couldn’t have been more wrong!

Now looking back at my young naïve self, I realized I did change and seeing now that we all do. Change is great because we learn from our experiences and adapt to whatever situation is thrown at us. One, I thought being 25 was considered “old.” Boy was I wrong. It’s quite interesting how we all view age so differently in different periods of our lives.  I realized that age is just a number, and you do not have to have everything figured out by this certain age to mean you’re successful. Just as we all blossom through puberty differently, in the realm of adulthood we have different paths. I, unfortunately, feel like a 20’ something that you feel you have this timeline that you feel you have to follow. As you grow older, you come to realize that everyone has their unique path. Some people find their niche in a quicker than others and others may take a vast amount of time to find their happiness, which both are completely okay. I have a better understanding of “Age” and not putting so much pressure on myself to have everything figured out on this imaginary timeline I’d created when I was eighteen/ nineteen. 

I also have completely changed the way I think about others. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized it’s important to stop worrying about what others think of me. Once I started doing this, instantly I have been a way happier person. However, it is easier said than done. There are days when I fall into the trap again, but I can rationalize my thoughts and feelings and realize I am being silly for letting other people have control of my emotions. It’s one of the biggest life lessons I have learned and once you can truly stop worrying about what others think your views on life change in such a positive light. 

Lastly, I become less of a worry-wart because I stopped letting others have so much influence on what I do. I do worry about the normal day-to-day things but not to the point of questioning my life choices because of other people. I worried way less about daily day-to-day things and stopped comparing myself to other people’s highlights. I realized just because people my age are having life changing experiences does not mean that I need to be having those same life-changing experiences. Like I mentioned before we are all different paths, and each one is unique and beautiful. There is no need to rush or ever feel bad about what you are doing with your life. Remember no need to rush to your destination, when you can enjoy the journey along the way.

Have a great #sunflowersunday ! Also Happy Father’s Day! Xo 

What is your earliest memory? #sunflowersunday

What a week it has been. I just submitted my 1^st phase of my portfolio, and now I am starting to study for the PRAXIS. Even though I’m a busy bee did you think I was going to forget about #sunflowersunday!? Of course not! Let’s dive right into it.

What is your earliest memory?

My earliest memory was when I was either 2 or 3 –years-old. I remember my dad strapping me in a carrier seat on his bike. It was a warm day, and the sun was shining. I remember wearing a purple two-piece outfit with flowers on both the shirt and pants. I wore these little white sneakers with these thin socks with lace all around them. I remember my Dad saying “ Hey my Stephie, we are going on a bike ride to the beach!”

My father buckled me in and put on my helmet. My helmet was white with pink flowers. My Dad got on his bike and put on his helmet and then we were off! I just remember the wind in my face, the smell of salt water, and the warm sensation of the sun on my skin. At the time, I couldn’t explain how I was feeling, but I felt like I was flying. The ocean breeze felt great on my skin. All I could do was smile.

I recall just hearing the waves crashing, the smell of sunscreen, and the wind blowing in my hair. When we did stop, my Dad took me out of the carrier, and we walked on the beach holding hands side by side. After our walk, we got all settled and back on our way we went. I just remember being so happy and giggly.  I couldn’t help but smile. Out of nowhere a big wave of exhaustion flew over me. I began to yawn. I tried fighting the tiredness, but I began to close my eyes. And like that, I feel asleep. When I woke up, we were right in front of my house, and my head was leaning on my Dad’s back.

Hope you enjoyed #sunflowersunday post. Have a wonderful day! xo

#sunflowersundays: Does my zodiac sign fit my personality?

June has a tendency to make me reflect about the outlook of my life.  Spring grad school classes are finished meanwhile summer classes are just about to begin.  This year’s internship is ending soon, while full-time summer employment is underway.  So where does that leave time for me to write my blog?  Taking this in consideration, I decided to start a series called #sunflowersundays. I found a 30-day writing challenge on Pinterest and decided to respond to each one of these questions for the next 30 Sundays! Not only will this challenge me to write different content, but it will also help me to think outside the box of my normal daily thinking. 

So for today’s #sunflowersunday the question is:

What is your zodiac sign and does it fit your personality?

My zodiac sign is Sagittarius, which is the ninth sign of the zodiac chart. The sign for Sagittarius is half human and half horse (animal). It is believed that Sagittarians have two personalities because they’re half person and half animal. The ruling planet is Jupiter and their birthstone (lucky stone) is turquoise. Sagittarius falls under the fire sign, which correlates with endless energy.

Positive Characteristics: Independent, Optimistic, Honest, Straightforward, and Adventurous

Negative Characteristics: Loud, Unemotional, Irresponsible, Restless, and Stubborn

These are some of the many traits I found when researching my astrology sign. Overall I would say I am 90% a textbook Sagittarius. I agree with all of the positive characteristics. I am extremely honest and straightforward. I am a terrible liar. I am a very sincere person with people, and this can have both a positive and a negative effect on a person depending on the personality I am conversing with. In my humble opinion, I would rather be honest and straightforward with an individual in a polite and respectful manner than beat around the bush. I consider myself very independent.  Don’t get me wrong, I will always ask for help if I need to, but overall I do enjoy spending some alone time from time-to-time. I like being able to make my own decisions and knowing I have the freedom to do whatever I put my mind to. I would 100% agree with being adventurous and optimistic. I am always eager to try or go somewhere new. No matter where life takes me, whether it is far or close, I truly believe every day of your life can be an adventure. I have always looked at the brighter side of things. Again don’t get me wrong I’m not 100% positive 100% all of the time. But when I do have my moments, I let myself deal with those negative emotions and then look at the positives of the situation.

For the negative characteristics, I would totally agree with being loud and restless. I have been told on multiple occasions to lower my voice. I naturally have a loud voice, and when I get excited, it tends to get louder. I’ve been trying to work on my volume control. I am also restless at times. Unless I am not feeling well or exhausted, I find it hard to relax. Don’t get me wrong, I love relaxing. However, most of the time I would rather be doing something or be outside in the fresh air. As I have gotten older, I have learned to relax and take a moment for myself (although I still have to practice this more frequently). Relaxing, I have found, can be rewarding in many ways. I have to disagree completely with being unemotional, irresponsible, and stubborn. I have always been in tune with my emotions and feel I express them in an appropriate manner. I would never be cold or unemotional to anyone! When it comes to being responsible, I consistently make sure I am doing things properly and handling situations in a mature manner. I could never imagine myself being irresponsible in any situation. Lastly, I would never consider myself stubborn. I am a very “go with the flow” type of person. Even when difficult situations arise, I am flexible and able to adapt easily.

I hope you enjoyed my first post in my series #sunflowersundays. Hope you are enjoying your Sunday and getting ready for the week ahead!

Overlook Mountain

The weather is getting warmer, and the sun is shining brighter which only means one thing...hiking season has begun! Being a gal from the flattest place on earth, Long Island, I wasn't introduced to hiking until I went to college in the Hudson Valley. It didn't take long before I was obsessed and found it to be one of the many joys in my life. I always try to squeeze in as many hikes as I can while I am up there.

The Catskills are full of hikes, but one of the easier ones I have done twice now is Overlook Moutain, which is the southernmost peak of the Catskill Escarpment. The first time I did this hike, it was with my boyfriend Drew on a rainy and spooky looking day- but that didn't take away from the beauty of this hike! I would recommend this hike for beginners being that it is not too hard, and it's a great way to get a workout in!

When you arrive at the trail, you will park in a dirt lot that is marked and right across the street from a Buddhist Monastery! The first time I went with Drew was on a weekday, and there was plenty of parking. However this past April I brought three of my friends there on a Saturday, and it was a tough squeeze! So if you plan on doing this hike on a weekend make sure to get there early to get a spot.

The hike itself is not that bad. It consists of an old gravel road with power lines overhead. You'll keep hiking for a little bit, and before you get to the top, you will come to an abandoned hotel that is so strikingly beautiful. I highly recommend exploring and taking in all of the beauty that surrounds you. This hotel was known as the Overlook Moutain House. The hotel was first built in 1871, but unfortunately, two fires destroyed the base structure. In 1923, the third version of the hotel was rebuilt out of concrete, but never completed. Once you're done exploring the hotel keep following the trail because you are SO close to the top. Once you get to the top, there is a huge fire tower that has a promising view. At the very top of the fire tower, there is a chained, locked door... but you can still walk up to the top to see one of the most amazing views of the Catskills!

After you are done with the fire tower; I recommend that you go towards the cliff overlook. This is where the money shot is! Just stand/sit still and soak in this stunning view. This is a great place to maybe have a little picnic or even watch the sunset. After you are done soaking up the awesomeness of Overlook head back down to your vehicle and take a drive through one of the cutest towns in the Catskills, Woodstock. Don't worry I will have a post dedicated solely to Woodstock because it's one of my favorite places ever! Overall, this hike is one the many magical places of the Catskills. Time to put your hiking boots on and go outside! Happy hiking everyone!

Learning to Celebrate with Lauren Conrad

March 29, 2016, is a date I will never forget because I finally decided to go to one of Lauren Conrad's book signings! I drove to Ridgewood, New Jersey, waited in line for 3 hours, bought a book, and then met and got my book signed by the one and only LAUREN CONRAD. The infamous Bookends Bookstore provided me with one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

I have been a ride or die fan of Lauren Conrad since her days on Laguna Beach, and I am still just as obsessed with her now as I was then. One thing to know about me is that I am not into celebrities and Hollywood. You can ask any of my close friends or family members, I always say, "The only celebrity I care about is Lauren Conrad." The reason I consider her a key role model to me aside from my mother is not because she is famous, but rather because she is truly a beautiful person both inside and out. She embodies everything I want to be as a young adult. She has worked for everything she has in her life and is not one of those celebrities that has gotten everything handed to her. She went through a series of internships, trials, and tribulations just like the average girl, which makes her so relatable!

Lauren has created a brand that is unlike anything out there. Everything she produces (clothing, books, blogs, etc) are produced with so much effort and heart, and it really shows. She is such a classy and respectable woman who I wish more young females would look up to. I look up to her in so many ways it is hard for me to put in words. She embraces everything I want to be in life & I am still awe that I got to meet her! I feel like it was a dream- I am a total fan girl right now!

My experience at Bookends was wonderful. I did I have to wait 3 hours to meet her, but I became fast friends with two lovely women who share the same love for Lauren Conrad as I do. Those 3 hours flew by, I didn't even notice I was waiting that long! When I first saw her I couldn't believe how stunning she was in person & when it was my turn to meet her I couldn't believe she was so sweet. She said, "Hello Stephanie, it is nice to meet you." I responded back, "How are you doing?" to which she replied, "I'm doing great, it's just getting so hot in here." I noticed how stunning was her hair. So I responded, "Your hair is so beautiful, did you twist or braid it?" She responded, "Thank you so much. Hmmm, I don't know you tell me!" She then proceeded to show me the back of her head. In my head, I'm thinking, "Yup I am BFF status with Lauren Conrad right now." I go, "Oh it looks like it started as a twist in the front and braided towards the back." She said, " My hairdresser did it for me. She was trying to teach me how to do it myself." We proceeded to take pictures, and our conversation ended with Lauren saying, " It was so lovely meeting you , Stephanie. Thank you so much for coming!" I was on cloud nine. She was so sweet and truly nice. I had such a lovely experience meeting my role model, and I couldn't have asked for a better time. Her book Celebrate teaches you how to host the perfect gathering for family and friends to create memories that will last a lifetime. Overall I am so happy I went to the book signing and it is a memory that will keep near and dear to my heart. The greatest lesson I learned from this experience is to never wait for opportunities to arise, create your own. You never know what can happen or what experiences can come out of meeting others!

Let's go to the beach, each, let's go get away

Happy Spring! You know what this means... we are one step closer to my favorite season- SUMMER. Speaking of summer, let's talk about the beach. Ah, the beach. One of my favorite places in the world. Luckily having grown up on Long Island, especially with a surfer dad, I have grown into a total beach bum. Unfortunately, since Long Island does not stay warm all year long, it is hard to get a great summer glow in the midst of winter. I would say Long Islanders still go to the beach no matter what season, but it is still not the same as good old summer time. Looking for a way around this issue, my parents found a quaint little town in South Flordia 10+ years ago and decided to invest in a condo there for winter getaways (and of course, so my dad can surf all year round)! Needless to say, that beautiful place is Jupiter, Florida. I have been lucky enough to spend plenty of time in Jupiter and consider it my second home. Jupiter has SO much to offer and is, in my opinion, one of the best places to live/visit in the Sunshine state... I may be a little biased :)

Jupiter is a great place to visit/live and is full of amazing views, activities, wildlife, restaurants, and, of course, my favorite, BEACHES. Jupiter beaches are some of the few beaches in the entire state of Florida that do not charge for entry or parking- what a deal! Not only are beaches beautiful, but each one is unique. The beaches are arranged by access number, which all have different meanings based on the amenities of the beach. If you want lifeguards and more people around, I would recommend going closer to the Pier. If you want a more secluded area with a variety of palm trees and other gorgeous views, I recommend going North on Ocean Blvd until you find the right beach for you!

As you can see Jupiter is one of a kind place that I hold very close to my heart. Stay tuned for most posts with all the hidden gems Jupiter has to offer!

Queen of Tarts

During my junior year of college, I was one of the lucky few (ironically) to get to take an introduction to Irish Literacy class. Being a part of this class allowed me to take a trip to Ireland during spring break... and even luckier, it was during St. Patrick's day! This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience- I mean what could be better?! Although nothing can compare to the amazing views, spirit, and the people that make Ireland great, I want to focus on the food that I indulged in on this trip. As we know, food isn't the first thing we think of when we hear of Ireland, but that doesn't mean it does not have anything to offer! I want to tell you all about one of the best places I ate at while I was in Ireland, Queen of Tarts!

Queen of Tarts is located in the heart of Dublin and was mine and my friend Danielle's favorite place to frequently stop throughout our trip. It was a cute and cozy spot for us to stop by, not only for yummy pastries, but also for an excellent meal. This beautiful cafe is known for their variety of pastries, but we also enjoyed their breakfast, lunch, & even brunch menu. As you can tell, Danielle and I were a little obsessed with this place.

The ambiance of Queen of Tarts reminded me of a mix of Victorian and Country styles, with little dollies and signs that made me feel like I was sitting in my grandmother's kitchen. Every item of food was adorably packaged and the minute you walked in the door the smell of baked good overwhelmed you!

It's a small and intimate cafe full of super friendly staff that loves to share advice about the best places to visit in Dublin. I think the reason Danielle and I came back to this lovely place so many times was because of the great customer service... but don't get me wrong the food and pastries were absolutely amazing! We both loved it so much we each bought a mug that I still use it to this day. Every time I sip my tea out of it I day dream about my time in Dublin. I cannot wait to one day go back to Ireland and visit Queen of Tarts and, of course, explore more the beautiful country!

I hope everyone has a Happy St. Patrick's Day full of luck & a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow =)

Hey you! Yeah you! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Happy International Women's Day! But in all honesty, what is all this hype over International Women's Day?! International Women's Day is defined as a general celebration of respect, appreciation, and love towards women. This celebration focuses on women's economic, political, and social achievements. Since the first International Women's Day was celebrated in 1911, this day is not just celebrated for the gals but overall gender equality. This day always makes me reflect on how women are depicted in society.

I was doing some research on self-esteem and the female population and let me tell you, I found so many troubling facts that women face in today's society. I found 3 shocking facts that really struck a nerve.

• Only 2% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful.
• 72% of girls feel a tremendous amount of pressure to be beautiful. 
• 80% of women agree that every single woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty. 

Wow, there is definitely something wrong here. I looked up the word beautiful in the dictionary and here is what I found: 

Beautiful (adjective) ˈbyü-ti-fəl: having qualities of beauty: exciting aesthetic pleasure & generally pleasing.

When reading this definition, I thought to myself, "Wow that is incredibly vague." So I looked up the definition of "beauty."

Beauty (adjective) ˈbyü-tē: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the sense or pleasurably exalts in the mind or spirit.

I was shocked after looking up these definitions. The term "beautiful" is usually thrown around so much we often forget its true meaning. From what I experience in both my personal and professional life, the term "beautiful" is usually referred to as being physically attractive. Now as women, we have daily pressure to "look good." No matter how far you stray away from all forms of social media, magazines, and advertisements, we face these struggles no matter how hard we hide. 

Even the amount of money and time women put into our clothes, hair, nails, skin, etc. the beauty business will never go out of style. And do not get me wrong, investing in yourself is great for so many reasons, but even I get so caught up in this whirlwind of beauty that I forget how I really view myself as a young female. With this enormous amount of pressure, most women become victims of this very unhealthy cycle of comparing ourselves to unrealistic views of what society defines as "beautiful." If you read the definition of beauty it describes the qualities that focus not only physical characteristics but also spiritual characteristics. Spiritual does not solely focus on a person's religious beliefs but more so on the values and beliefs that person exhibits through his or her behavior. For me, I would personally define that as inner beauty. Inner beauty. Our society has heard this term before. However, inner beauty is never really used in our daily dialogue. It is interesting when you try to look up inner beauty in the dictionary you will not find a clear and concise definition, which says a lot about our society. 

It saddens me to see and even experience it myself that so many females do not see themselves as beautiful. Our outer appearance is usually the focus of how we define ourselves as beautiful. We forget that our beauty really comes from within. Inner beauty focuses on the positive aspects of the person that are not physically visible. Some of these qualities include compassion, creativity, intelligence, perseverance, kindness, and the list goes on. Outer beauty fades but inner beauty does not. I always pondered the thought that if society focused on a person's inner beauty instead of physical beauty, would more females consider themselves beautiful?

It is also interesting to see how as human beings we are our own worst critics. We can find beauty in each other, but when it comes to finding beauty in ourselves it is a challenge. I am a true believer that what makes a person truly beautiful is how their character and personality are shown through. I believe every human being (yes, that includes men too) is beautiful. Each person has a unique and beautiful characteristics about him or her that contributes to the world being so beautifully diverse.  

About 2 years ago I came across this website. You-are-beautiful.com This site creates stickers that focus on three little words, "You are Beautiful." This site embodies this powerful message by creating stickers that are encouraged to be put or given in multiple areas/people (bathroom stalls, street signs, your best friend, etc.) to be a reminder that You, yes You are truly beautiful both inside and out.  I have been hooked ever since. I have these stickers on all my mirrors in my room as a daily reminder of my inner beauty. I try to take a sticker with me everywhere I go to either put on something or to give to someone. How can these daily reminders not brighten your day? Not only do I highly encourage you to check out this site and join the movement, but also to focus on your beauty and realize you are such a beautiful human being. 

P.S. Did I mention that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL? 

44.1127° N, 73.9237° W = Highest Elevation in New York State!

The Highest elevation in New York State is Mount Marcy.  Back during my undergrad, my boyfriend Drew and I decided we were going to hike it for our anniversary on a whim. Not even twenty minutes later we literally threw a mattress in the back of his pickup truck, and we were driving North on I-87.

Mount Marcy is an 18-mile hike round trip near Lake Placid, in what some would call upstate New York. The route we endeavored was 6 hours to the summit and 6 hours back down to the base. WARNING: This hike is not for beginner hikers, and I recommend you to be in somewhat good physical shape before taking on this challenge. *stamina is key.

We arrived that night- it was pitch black, and we ended up camping out near Johns Brook Lodge Area at the base of the mountain (this was a $10 fee). Also, we noticed another campground in the area that was available to camp and pitched tents. We woke up before the sun the next morning and realized we had no food or water. We drove back to a local gas station and picked up snacks and water, and we were so glad we did. If you decide to embark on this hike, make sure you are prepared with a generous amount of food and water.  This hike is demanding, and you’ll enjoy the experience more if you nourish your body along the way.

The hike began smoothly with beautiful scenic trails, flowing creeks, and waterfalls.  Pretty soon after that, we came across I would say an uphill battle. It was definitely a huge incline so be prepared- and make sure you wear the proper footwear! I would recommend investing in hiking boots if you don’t have a pair because sneakers did not cut it for this girl. The trail is very narrow, so if you are walking slower or need to take a break, try to be considerate and go off to the side to let other adventurers pass since it's a tight squeeze. At least for the trail Drew and I chose. 

A quarter of the way we found this beautiful brook known as Phelps Brook. This was a nice place to take a break, hydrate and relax to the sound of running water. Then we came to Indian Falls, which gave an incredible view. Once you reach a certain elevation, the Alpine vegetation appears until it surrounds the trail. You will arrive at a wooden bridge not too high off the ground for explorers to stay on to not destroy the Alpine vegetation.

Finally, after 6 hours we made it to the top. 5,343 feet high, it took my breath away. The view was unbelievable. The air was so crisp and refreshing.  You are quite literally above the clouds at the peak. Speaking of clouds, Mount Marcy is also known as Tahawus, which means cloud splitter which is quite an appropriate name. When you reach the top, the clouds surround you with a 360-degree view, and the mountain top splits the clouds in half right in front of you. I was definitely on cloud nine all the way at the top. I just sat there and admired the view for an hour. Even when I look at these pictures, now I am still in disbelief. I would highly recommend this hike and if you hike it should be on your bucket list!

The second best part of hiking after reaching your destination is that it is much easier to climb down. It took the same amount of time to go down and is just as demanding as climbing up. Be careful not to slip down large boulders which comprise most of the trail. 6 hours later we made it down to the base.  Drew and I ran to his truck with open arms. We embraced our new blisters, cuts, and dirt on our clothes with satisfied smiles on the whole ride home. What an amazing experience!

TIPS

·          Wear boots meant for hiking

·          Bring a day's worth of water per person

·          Don’t pack heavy or greasy foods.  Fruits, nuts, and similar foods should get you through the day.

·          If they offer you a map- take it!

·          You’ll meet people from all over the world hiking this mountain, so start a conversation! You never know what stories or tips someone might have to offer!

·          Enjoy the views!

·          Pack toilet tissue! ;)

* All photos were taken by my wonderful and talented boyfriend, Andrew Maloney! 

   Follow him on Instagram: drew_maloney